I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
