the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
