your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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