i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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