Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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