i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Randomize
