Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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