wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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