Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
