you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize