i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You made out with two different species that night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
