I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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