Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i will never coherently bang her
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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