If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
