You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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