Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
