how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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