"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
