Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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