Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
