it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
