I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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