based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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