I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She announced her abortion via fbk
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
