In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
