If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
