I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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