I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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