i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
