watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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