I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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