I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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