I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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