I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
