I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
