Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My penis needs a shock collar
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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