You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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