I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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