The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
