I think im going to throw up on grandma
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
