did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
