I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
