Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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