It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
