Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
