Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
