Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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