Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
