i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
