4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
