walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
