Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
